SPOTTED: Omar Let’s Himself Go
It’s always unfortunate when this type of thing happens.
A centaur gets depressed and tries to eat his way out of his misery. Unfortunately it’s happened to our favourite and perfect centaur, Omar a.k.a. Omtaur.
But we have faith that this is but a minor setback before Omar emerges from his melancholia. The rebound is always a sight to behold. We await patiently.
But for now we will let Omtaur wallow in his self-pity and degradation. Perhaps a leprechaun will pass by and offer him words of wisdom and help.
Stay tuned as we report on breaking news of Omar the perfect centaur.
A close call – Omar gets defensive as we close in
The most amazing news! We have spotted Omar again!
But first a note on our dangerous trek towards the centaur’s lair.
After our first sighting of Omar the perfect centaur, our centaur fever had peaked. And the only cure was more Omar. Rest was for the weak and safety for cowards. And so we journeyed off into the thick and hairy forest that is Centauria.
As centaur enthusiasts, we were adept at sniffing out the natural musk of centaurs and thus found no difficulty in locating the general vicinity of Omar. But upon intrusion, we were met with life-threatening perils.
Although we have been tracking centaurs for decades, we fell for oldest trick in the centaur satchel: The Pink Centaur.
For those unfamiliar (and luckily so) with the Pink Centaur, it involves having the state of your reality altered whilst enduring strong hallucinogenic euphoria.
In other words, we were tripping balls on centaur piss.
After several hours we came to our senses and carried on. And finally, we saw him. We saw Omar.
The picture above was taken just before he thrust his long and hard spear at us, just narrowly missing both our heads. He is clearly an expert in weaponry. As we gathered our wits about us, Omar again was gone.
This reclusive centaur spelled trouble for us, but we will continue to hunt him down. Expect word of our next adventure.
The hunt is on…for the perfect centaur!
As many of you know, the centaur is one of nature’s most majestic yet elusive creatures. But unlike most centaur enthusiasts and watchers out there, we choose not to waste our time on the common centaur and instead will focus our attention, efforts, time, and money on the perfect centaur only.
They call us crazy.
And they’re right.
As we all know the perfect centaur possesses the perfect combination of the 3 centaur elements, or better known as the centaurudiments, plus an additional special and highly exclusive 4th centaur element found only in perfect centaurs.
While these facts are widespread and common knowledge, let me enlighten the feeble-minded and uneducated.
All centaurs possess 3 centaurudiments:
- Lush and amazing hair
- Poise and grace
- Speed and agility
The perfect centaur would contain the perfect amounts of all 3 and the 4th centaurudiment would be virility.
So yes, it is extremely hard to find a perfect centaur. These creatures are already so reclusive and mistrusting of humans.
BUT!
We have spotted a perfect centaur and we intend to capture him for study. Our research has indicated this perfect melange of human and horse goes by the mystifying and marvelous name of Omar.
Here is a picture of him spotted in the wild sunning himself. Perhaps perfecting his already bronzed body. No need, my sweet man-horse. You’re already perfect.
Omar the centaur, magnificently taunting us with his firm haunches and gossamer hair
Unfortunately his expert ears picked up our movement and he took off. But the game’s not over yet. Stay tuned as our hunt progresses.
